I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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