2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
