Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
