don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
