Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
