idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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