youre lurking in front of me
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im part way to drunk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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