I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
