She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
