No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
