we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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