You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
