so that wasnt chicken after all
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
