Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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