Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
