I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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