dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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