The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
