Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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