Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
