it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
