and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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