Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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