All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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