Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that's an acceptable place to lick
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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