She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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