had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
