no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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