remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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