I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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