Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
