Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
