At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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