Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
