Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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