Girls should come with a carfax report
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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