You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
