wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
