Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
