the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
