so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need water and some morals
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
