I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
