worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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