I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
