And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
