I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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