Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
