found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
