i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will be naked everywhere
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
