We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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