No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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