i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
