the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
