They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
