I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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