At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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