I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize