I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
