And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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